(click image to view with better resolution on flickr)
Although not mentioned on my blog, I recently announced on twitter and Facebook that I would be taking a brief hiatus from blogging. I made this decision for several reasons, all of which I will probably write about in length at some point. But not right now. However, I wanted to make it official by somewhat dedicating a post to it. You guys deserve the affirmation. But yeah. So that's that.
In other news, I recently took the time to formulate a response in regards to a question that I am frequently asked on formspring. I thought it would be applicable to share with you guys, because you are beautiful and I highly adore you. So I'm letting you in. Being personable and shit, ya know? Many people (probably some of you) have asked me how I manage to be alone, and why I prefer it. And so:
It took many years for me to understand that being alone is an opportunity that some (or most) of us choose to ignore. We seem to be dependent upon companionship and relationship and friendship and community and many other things that actually sound quite terrifying to me, personally. But being alone, in solitude, is an opportunity. It is an opportunity to entertain yourself, to educate yourself, and sometimes, to educate yourself about yourself. It has been in times of solitude that I actually begin to understand myself. I use this time to think and write and think and collect and think and read. And then I often think some more. Since moving, all of my time has been spent alone. My day starts with a cup of coffee, sitting alone at my desk and emptying my mind of any anxiety that may be lingering from the day before. I pick out my clothes, step into the bathroom, and sing to myself while showering. I try not to sell myself short of this time. I sing at least two songs. It warms my voice while the music warms my soul. I leave my house and drive to work or school alone. I sit through class alone because I have a hard time participating in the discussion of my classmates. I cannot relate them, apart from the fact that we share an interest in photography. I also have the tendency of exploring alone… Which often leads to eating at restaurants alone. When you’re alone, however, food begins to taste substantially better. Or worse, depending! But you pay far more attention to the flavor. Your mind is not being distracted by discussion. Being alone is beautiful because you don’t have to be aware of someone else’s presence. You aren’t obligated to listen to anyone but yourself. And you aren’t responsible for anyone else’s feelings but your own. I shop for groceries alone, cook alone, get coffee alone, watch movies alone, and exist entirely alone. I choose to be alone because I’ve found that other individuals make me incredibly unhappy and uncomfortable with myself. Subconsciously, interacting and socializing with others has (in the past) caused me to conform to a discussion of common interest. I find it limiting. I am limiting my degree of intellect in order to maintain a conversation by discussing similar interests… Gross. Spending time alone has caused me to realize different things about myself, which has directly affected the morals I value in others. Rather than endeavoring to find individuals that feel similarly about the subject (as I find that to be the least organic way to make friends), I’ve chosen to remain in solitude. And in solitude I will stay.
-Blake
FOLLOW ME ON:
